Have you ever prayed and prayed and prayed for something but God’s answer was a consistent No? In the midst of the praying and the hoping and the waiting God’s refusal can seem cruel, can’t it? But what if His refusal is actually a mercy?
Elisabeth Elliot wrote, “God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God’s refusals are always merciful — ‘severe mercies’ at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.” God’s refusals always lead to a better plan, His better plan.
Those of us who have prayed only to hear a No from God are in good company. Jesus Himself didn’t get the answer He wanted when He prayed in the garden of Gethsemane, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39). The Son of God knew that unimaginable suffering lay ahead of Him. Was it wrong for Him to ask the Father to spare Him? Of course not. But God had a greater purpose in mind for the world, and so He answered Jesus’ prayer with a No.
Christ going to the cross was the greatest mercy of all for you and I. However, at the time, God’s refusal to spare His Son’s life could’ve looked like He didn’t love Jesus, that He didn’t have His (and the whole world’s) best interest at heart. (The disciples were certainly confused. They thought their Messiah would help them overthrow the Roman government, not willingly march to His death.) But God’s ways are so much higher than our own, which Jesus’ resurrection proves. Thus, we only cause ourselves great frustration when we question them.
Jesus knew His Father's ways were higher and better, which is why He went on to pray, “Yet not as I will, but as you will” (v. 39), a prayer of complete trust in His good Father.
If God has said no to something you’ve been praying for, don’t get bitter. Instead, respond like Jesus did — with a heart of trust and surrender. Perhaps one day, in this lifetime, you’ll see how God’s no was a great mercy.